Accomplishment Coaching

I had a terrific conversation with a colleague of mine this week. We were planning for an event later this month and discussing a location for the event.

In the conversation, my colleague disclosed that he had much greater plans for the future of the group to which we both belong. These plans included having our group be part of making Detroit a place that thrives rather than survives. It wasn’t just about networking and hob-knobbing with the soon-to-be-rich-and-famous.

I was totally inspired by his comments and his vision. And I wondered how come he had been keeping this from me.

I was wondering this not so much because I cared if I did or didn’t qualify to be “in the know”, but if he’s kept this from me, he’s likely kept it from many others. If that’s the case, how is he truly going to make the difference he’s committed to making?

So where are you holding back in your business and life? What plans, visions and aspirations are you withholding from all but a select few? What’s the fear that has you withhold? What are you concerned will happen?

Many of us withhold information and ideas for one reason: we imagine people will think we’re silly or heading in the “wrong” direction. A slightly different version of that is “I’m scared I’ll be wrong”.

Guess what? It’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way and it’s surely okay to be scared. Last time I checked, that was a required emotion as a human being.

And will you allow that to stop you?

Take a moment and consider what would be possible if you were to share your plans, your vision, and your aspirations with everyone. Then ask the following questions:

1) What fear would I conquer simply by sharing?
2) How much more money might I earn?
3) How many more prospective clients might show up?
4) How many more people might I enroll in supporting my plans, vision and aspirations?
5) For how many people would I make a difference?
6) What would all of that give me?

Practice sharing (in detail!) how you are taking action to make a difference in this world. Practice sharing how much your business will grow this year. Practice sharing when you’ll get married, when you’ll have a child, when you’ll run the marathon, when you’ll call your Mom, when you’ll go back to school, when you’ll take you’re life partner to dinner, when you’ll donate that million dollars to the charity of your passion.

And by sharing, you’ll be practicing one of the most powerful concepts I know of in life: enrolling others in your vision of the future. When you enroll others in your vision, they pitch in and support.

Imagine how much faster you’ll realize your dreams.

Happy Sharing,
-Coach Preston
http://www.breakyoursilence.com

I viewed a really interesting video yesterday. It was of Seth Godin. You may know of him; he’s written a bunch of books on marketing and branding.

It’s a five minute video on his interpretation of “fundamentalism” and “curiosity”. You can view it at http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid980097284/bctid1385253108.

Here’s what I heard, learned, and will be applying to my life:

• Fundamentalism is NOT a religious thing. It’s a way of thinking, behaving and BEING. It’s based on looking first at your belief and interpretation, then measuring an external experience to see if it fits with your belief or interpretation.
• Curiosity is the opposite. It’s a way of observing what’s happening externally, then simply asking questions about how that fits into your world, your beliefs, your interpretations, and your mission.

So, what does that mean? This is what I learned:

I have a filter called my belief system. There are things that fit inside of it and things that don’t. One of my belief systems is that liver and onions is totally gross. Another is that racism is totally gross. Both of these beliefs serve me and I keep my life predictable and safe by staying away from both. If someone asks me about either, I will share without any doubt, that I do NOT believe in liver and onions and I do NOT believe in racism. My belief is that they are both wrong. I consider myself a fundamentalist on both issues.

Now, I realize there are plenty of people who enjoy liver and onions. And, I realize there are plenty of people for whom racism serves. So what if I were to take Seth Godin’s advice and consider curiosity instead? Here’s what I see and how I can apply it to my life:

What if I were to just be curious about liver and onions? I might actually step out of my “You’ve got to be crazy to like that stuff!” and just simply be okay that there are people who truly enjoy liver and onions. My wife can’t stand cilantro and I love it. Could it be the same for liver and onions?

And, what if I were to just be curious about racism? I might stop being critical and judgmental of people who I call racist (and when I do that, isn’t it just more of the same?). Maybe if I brought curiosity to those situations when I’m present to someone being racist, I’d ask questions such as “What is this person afraid of?”, “What event occurred in his past that upset him to the point of becoming racist?”, “How can I support this person’s compassion rather than his racism?”

If I were to simply be curious about these situations, would I end up being a bigger contribution than if I were to just simply declare my fundamentalist beliefs?

So here are a few invitations for you:

• Notice when you begin sharing your opinion right away. Check in with yourself and ask, “Am I practicing my fundamentalism or my curiosity?”
• Make a list of the top 10 things you’re a “fundamentalist” about. Then ask, “What’s available for me if I were to be curious about these rather than be right about these?”
• Ask, “What part of my business am I a fundamentalist about? How is that supporting or not supporting me?”
• Be willing to make messes along the way of moving from fundamentalism to curiosity. You are completely capable of cleaning them up and it’s HIGHLY likely no one will die in the process.

Finally, it’s really just a choice. You’re welcome to be a fundamentalist and you’re welcome to be curious. Life is a wide open opportunity and you get to choose what works best for you.

Happy Questioning,

- Coach Preston

PS – If you haven’t read any of Seth’s stuff, I highly recommend looking him up and reading what he has to offer. Here’s his blog: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/