Accomplishment Coaching

George called me last week.  He was completely stressed out about the lack of time in his business and life.

George had just stepped back into his office from a day of sales appointments, client meetings and a board retreat.  “This is the story of my life” he shared with me.  “Running from one place to the next to the next.  And the worst part is projects keep getting pushed back further and further.  I’d be okay with the craziness if at least it produced the results I wanted.”

“Preston, how can I make all this work?  You’re a coach… you must have a time management tactic or strategy for me to use to make this better.”

Sorry George.  I don’t have the magic pill you’re seeking.

Does this story sound familiar?  Too much to do and not enough time?  Strategizing, negotiating and manipulating time until we realize we’ve spent what turns into (if we actually measured it) an inordinate amount of time stressing out and looking to find the time management “magic pill” that will forever end the misery.

It’s as if we actually believe there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; the time management rainbow. Consider thought, that there’s no such thing as time management let alone a “pot of gold” solution. At least not in the context with which we’re most familiar.

So, why would I say that and what is it that has so many of us suffering around time? There are two primary issues:

First, although we all deal with time, it’s a rare bird that actually distinguishes his or her relationship with time. That’s right… relationship with time. We all have 24 hours 7 days a week (considering you’re from this planet). Yet most Americans schedule their calendars as if more time were to magically appear.

One of the biggest drivers of this behavior I’ve seen is that people measure their self-worth by how much they do. Have you ever heard someone lament about how busy they are? Consider they’re just flexing their “I’m important” muscles as in “I’m so busy ’cause I’m so important.” It’s a tough decision for me too… be important and suffer or just be important.

Second, we live in a “fix it” culture. When there’s a time crunch we frequently look for solutions to that problem without looking at the true driver of the challenge. For example, I just met with a coaching prospect, Steve, who shared all the time management strategies he’s employed over the past two years. When I asked how it was going with time now, he said, “I still can’t find enough time.”

When we looked at the driver, we discovered an unconscious game he’s playing is to be “the smartest guy in the room”. He spends huge amounts of time researching data, analyzing results and listening to media resources. This driver (or context) will for ever force him to spend loads of time satiating the need to be “the smartest guy in the room”, but may not serve him ultimately. Until he begins making a shift in that context, no time management system will ever be effective.

So now what?

• Stop using the language “time management”.  Management is the oversight of processes and keeping them accountable.  Management is what you do when a framework has already been established.  In other words, management is making the best of an existing context.  In our example above, our prospect Steve would keep seeking better ways to cram all the research and analyzing into less time.  Good luck with that.
• Instead, start using the language, “time leadership”.  Consider the following quote from Alan Keith of Genentech who said “Leadership is ultimately about creating a way for people to contribute to making something extraordinary happen.”  The solution for our prospect Steve isn’t managing within his existing context around time.  It’s about creating something entirely new, or extraordinary.  Perhaps he stops researching and begins taking action immediately.  Perhaps he stops trying to “fix” his time issue and starts delegating everything that isn’t completely essential to his professional role.

No matter what it is that Steve takes on, as long as it’s inside a new and empowering context, he’ll likely solve his time issues overnight.

Leadership Practices:

1. Make a list of everything you do in life and business – I mean everything.  Then categorize them into three categories of commitment: a) 100% committed to it, b) 50% committed to it, and c) 0% committed to it  Find a way to delegate, demote or delete anything that you’re less than 100% committed to.  WARNING: This is a confronting exercise.  Don’t try it alone. “-)
2. Plan Tomorrow Today.  Every evening, create a list of the six most important items that need to be handled the next day.  Do not cheat by making the list longer than six items.  Make a commitment to take action ONLY on the top six that day.  List phone calls, tasks, and errands as secondary.  Spend your day working on your top six list and when you get stuck, go to your phone calls, tasks and errands list temporarily.  Then get back to the top six list in short order.
3. Distinguish your current relationship to time.  One way to uncover it is to ask someone close to you the following question: “What do you notice I do with time?”  That will likely spur some terrific conversation.  Be prepared to get confronted by the answers as well.  “-)
4. Declare that you’ll operate from Time Leadership rather than Time Management.  Sometimes just making the declaration creates the extraordinary.

Lastly, have fun with this.  One of the consequences of “time management” is that we make time really significant.  Let that go and open yourself up to a brand new relationship with time.

Tick-tock,

-Coach Preston

This past weekend, I had an amazing experience.  I spent the entire weekend with 11 other men on a retreat about an hour north of Detroit.

Amidst the cheeseburgers, chips, 18 pots of coffee and proverbial “how YOU doin’?”, was authenticity and transparency like I’ve never seen in a group of men before.  I’m more accustomed to rank humor and bravado.  There’s nothing wrong with those things… but I’ve learned those really don’t serve me anymore.

The intent of the weekend was to help us distinguish the “stories” we have about ourselves.  About where we are in comparison to where we want to be.  About what’s running our lives in comparison to what we’d like to run our lives.  About how we live in the context (or framework) of someone elses’ story in comparison to our own OR the story that best prepares us to really be men.

You see as a man, I’ve come to learn some behaviors that, historically, seem to have served me.  Self-protection, arrogance and competition have won many battles for me.  I’ve covered up plenty of mistakes, let folks know that I’m okay even when I’m not (“Don’t need your help thanks.”), and made sure I came in first place regardless of the consequences.

What I see now is that a life led that way is a life of pure exhaustion.

This past weekend actually got me to ask the question, “If that’s not the story I truly want, then whose story AM I living?”  “What story do I want to live?”  “What if I were to take on being transparent, humble and open-hearted?”  “What if I took on not having ALL the answers?”

Some of you reading this (perhaps especially if you’re in business) may feel I’ve gone off a deep end.  That’s okay… you’re entitled to believe that and it’s likely you’re not to the point of exhaustion upon which I’ve arrived.

Except, coming back to work on Monday morning has been really refreshing this week.  Although the email in-box is overloaded, there’s a breakdown with one of my teams and a client who’s suffering through some big challenges, there’s something different about today.

As a business owner, leader and man, I now see my ability to create the life and business I want doesn’t depend on my ability to protect, control or “win”.  It depends on my willingness to practice always being of service, sharing 100% of me (the good, bad and ugly), and getting connected by creating relationships from heart rather than ego.

Leadership Practices for you to consider:

1. Notice where you’re inclined to hide, ignore or avoid issues and conversations.  Be curious about what you want to hide from others.  Take on sharing just one of those things this week.
2. Count how many really close friends you have… the type of friends you could share ANYTHING with.  If the number you come up with is disappointing, ask yourself “How much longer can I do my life entirely on my own?”
3. Notice where you dominate conversations, relationships and situations.  Ask yourself “What chaos am I trying to dominate”.  Consider the things we call “chaotic” have some of the greatest lessons inside.  Take on just being with a conversation, relationship or situation rather than trying to fix it or figure it out.

Regardless of gender, consider that a life (and business) operating from protection, control and competition is short-lived at best.  On the best day, you’ll get ONLY what those things offer (fear, running, resisting and avoiding).

Perhaps there’s a different story for you.

Happy Editing,

-Coach Preston

I read recently of a Laotian monk, Achaan Chaa, who lay down some pretty cool stuff about leadership.

“You see this goblet?” Chaa asked, holding up a glass.  “For me, this glass is already broken.  I enjoy it; drink out of it.  It holds water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns.  If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it.  But when I put this glass on a shelf and the wind knocks it over and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’  When I understand this glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.” – Excerpt from Sacred Hoops, by Phil Jackson, 1995.

This passage from Jackson’s book is particularly pertinent to me as a coach and as a business leader heading into a new year.  Where have I taken something for granted?  Where have I taken someone for granted?  What’s that cost me as a friend, coach, teammate or leader?

I went to a holiday party a few days ago that a new friend hosted.  He’s been having this party for years from what I learned in conversation with folks.  “Yeah, you should have been here last year… there were like, 200 people in this house.”  Wondered if the fire marshall knew about last year.

Aside from the fact that upon my departure there were likely 75 people in attendance, what struck me was how much folks appreciated that Steve (that’s what we’ll call him) invested as much time and effort into the party as he did.  “Can you believe he did all this” was the most common question I heard all night.

My answer = yes, I can believe it.

You see, Steve gets the impermanence of this world.  He sees that at any given moment, his life or the life of his friends could change for better or worse.  He understands that “NOW” is far more intriguing and satisfying than “later”.

Coaching Challenge / Practice:

As a leader, take a moment to consider the following questions / actions:

1. Where am I putting things off until “later”?
2. What’s so intriguing about “later”?
3. What’s possible if I were to take action NOW?
4. Name three people, employees, fellow leaders or friends you can acknowledge today.
5. If you were to practice always taking action NOW, what’s possible for you and your business in 2009?

 A new year is upon you.  There are plenty of parties to attend, sales to make, projects to complete, people to acknowledge and teams to lead.

Which will you choose, now or later?

Just do it,

-Coach Preston