Accomplishment Coaching

This week I got a real treat by going to the Thursday children’s mass.

Although I love the sermons on Sunday, I’m always curious what will be discussed on Thursdays considering the overwhelmingly adolescent audience. As predicted, I was ready to check my Palm Pilot and write a few notes about the day in front of me while I listened “loosely”.

Until I heard the M & M story.

“As a young child, just like all of you, I took long car trips with my family”, the priest began. “My mom used to keep me and my five brothers and sisters in good behavior on those trips by giving us M & M’s. She’d ration them out to each one of us based on our behavior. If it was good, we got more. If it was not, we got very few.”

Then he asked, “What is rationing?”

A rather astute youngster raised her hand and answered, “It’s the controlled distribution of resources and scarce goods and services.” Clearly she’s a daughter of an economist. And, this was starting to get better.

The priest continued, “So where do we typically ration in our lives?”

There were several answers: “When we’re playing with our sisters or brothers, when a friend and I want to play with the same toy, each week when my mom and dad give me my allowance…”

And then the priest said something that hit me like a sucker-punch:

“God does not ration. God loves 100% of you 100% of the time. God does not ration.”

I put down my Palm Pilot.

For in that moment, I realized that I was rationing my attention. I was giving some of it to the sermon, some of it to the device that’s attached to my hip, and likely more to my thoughts of my upcoming day.

And if that was simply the most obvious place I noticed my rationing, where else have I been doing the same?

Here are some places that occurred to me:

a) I schedule appointments almost back to back – what am I rationing there?
b) I get irritated when I don’t receive my monthly discount coupon from my airport parking lot friends – what am I rationing there?
c) I stop myself from making a sales call on a “very prominent and important person” – what am I rationing there?
d) I go about most days believing that I’m the only one who can take care of A, B or C – what am I rationing there?
e) I avoid being with some family members that I don’t particularly like – what am I rationing there?

So what am I rationing in the examples above?

a) Time
b) Money
c) Confidence
d) Trust
e) Love

It struck me that I spend a decent amount of time rationing my resources. That I withhold my time, money, confidence, trust and love from many people and situations. And it’s not just me.

So what makes it so prevalent, this withholding or rationing?

Consider we’re just simply afraid of not having enough for ourselves. And consider that fear comes from us not being enough for OURselves.

When was the last time you said YOU were enough for YOU? When you said, “I’m totally sufficient for myself?” If you’re like many, it’s been a long time, if ever.

So we wonder why our businesses don’t make it when we run into challenges; the ones we’ll inevitably run into. We wonder why employees don’t work out. We wonder why clients leave us. We wonder why our marriages or relationships fail.

We ration our M & M’s.

So I’ll leave this last thought and an invitation to create some space to truly listen:

What one area of your life will be transformed if you were to offer it all of your M & M’s?

Happy Sugar Buzz,
-Coach Preston

I had a tremendous experience this past weekend. I was initiated into the Catholic Church.

The Easter Vigil service was one I’d never experienced before… adults being baptized, confirmed and initiated into the church. It was amazing to be part of the baptism especially. Men and women standing in a baptismal font getting literally drenched. And all of us having just completed a six month journey of philosophy, catechism, and discussion about what it means to be Catholic.

I wonder what has people do things like this?

What is it that has a grown adult step under the enormous pitcher to get soaked? In front of all their friends and family. To be publicly identified as “one of those people.” To enter an organization that’s potentially a target for both admiration and very likely, criticism.

So let’s take this out of the religious realm for a moment. What would have anyone publicly profess a belief or opinion?

Here are a few ideas:

1. Taking action on a vow
2. Being held accountable to that vow
3. Requesting support in the journey that vow generates

There are many varieties of “vows” we make. In my business, I often refer to something called a “declaration”… a statement to bring a desired future into existence. Some other examples of vows or declarations are: marriage, a new client, an educational degree, a business partner, a new business, sales results, etc. All of these begin as thoughts or desires and often become declarations.

And often times, they never materialize. Here’s one reason why:

Consider that many vows or declarations never materialize (or work out) because they’re never made public. We say to ourselves, “I’ll earn $20,000 more this year.” “I’ll get 10 new clients this quarter.” “I’ll find a great person to date this month.” Good stuff, right?

Then it never happens.

Had I just said to myself, “I’ll become Catholic this year”, it’s likely I’d have gone to mass a bunch of times, perhaps read some stuff on the Catechism (instruction of the Catholic Church), and eventually stop being involved.

Why would it happen that way? Because this process of becoming Catholic was challenging, difficult and confronting. There’s stuff the Catholic Church believes that I am still in process about. There are beliefs, philosophies and structures that are new, confusing and (in my opinion) questionable. Throughout this process, I argued, got upset and frustrated, and more than once said “this isn’t worth it.” The predictable thing for me to do in this situation was to quit.

And I didn’t. Because this journey is one I’m totally committed to take and one that, for me, has a pot of gold in the end. So I got confirmed and initiated on Saturday evening.

I overcame what was predictable for one reason: I made a public declaration when I began this process and I made another public declaration on Saturday evening.

By making this public declaration, I garnered the support of the church community, other non-Catholic Christians who have been through this process, and the church itself. For this is only the beginning of a life-long journey… one that will bring much joy AND frustration and challenge.

So whether it’s religion, spirituality, business, relationships, community, or any other future, practice making public declarations. Declarations that are heard and witnessed by individuals and communities who are committed to supporting you in reaching that goal, that future, and that dream.

If it would support you, you can also give me a call and just declare.

Happy Declarations,

-Coach Preston